The Gunbear Chronicles: Garbage Day

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“Why am I here?!” Plox pounded his meaty fists on the interrogation room table. A lone lamp swung overhead and dust particles floated down from the ceiling.

BN6 hovered opposite the Gamorrean across the table. The island of light in the center of the room cast an eerie glow on the administration droid’s sandblasted silver body. “Once again you and your men have been dumping District 24’s garbage into the Sarlaac Pit when you should dispose of it in the environmentally-friendly manner set forth by Mayor Gunbear.”

“That’s preposterous!” Plox said banging on the table again. BN6 noted that every time the Gamorrean spoke, it sounded as if he was shaking his head with a mouthful of meat. The droid turned toward the nearest wall and projected an image. A skiff hovered over the Great Pit of Carkoon and several clearly discernible figures launched bin after bin of refuse into the pit while the Sarlaac’s tentacles swayed in the light of Tatooine’s three moons.

“That could be anyone!” Plox protested. This time when he slammed his fist one of the bulbs in the overhead lamp flickered and threatened to cast the room in complete darkness.

“Mayor Gunbear takes sanitation very seriously,” BN6 responded cooly.

“Gunbear! Hah!” Plox leaned forward across the table and jabbed a finger in the droid’s direction. “Who does he think he is to drag the Chief of Sanitation down here like this? The only time he cares about trash going into the Sarlaac Pit is during re-election. I’m not scared of him. You float on back to his office and tell Mayor Gunbear I think he’s shooting blanks and he belongs in a zoo.”

BN6 drifted back toward the door. “You just told him.”

“HRMPH!” A low, stately grunt rolled from the darkness in the back of the room. Plox’s eyes grew to the size of a Krayt Dragon’s. He felt hot breath on the back of his neck. Scent of the Dune Sea, the Mayor’s signature cologne filled his nostrils.

Mayor Gunbear circled around Plox. The Gamorrean expected rage. He expected the Mayor’s fangs to tear him to pieces. Instead, Gunbear studied him with his dark, glassy eyes.

“I…I…”

“Mrphsh,” Mayor Gunbear snorted and Plox shut his mouth. The Mayor turned to BN6. “Graughaggargahhh?”

“Yes sir. Your speeder is ready,” the droid responded. BN6 rounded the table towards Plox. “I’m afraid I need to bind your wrists now.” The Gamorrean looked at Gunbear. This was not what he expected at all.

Plox ate a mouthful of sand when Mayor Gunbear threw him out of the speeder. He struggled to get to his knees with his hands bound behind him. His eyes watered and tried to adjust to the hot suns. The sand burned beneath him. BN6 zipped over to Plox as Gunbear climbed out of the speeder. A small bladed arm protruded from the droid’s body and he sliced the rope binding the Gamorrean’s wrists. Plox tasted moisture in the sand. It congealed in his mouth. He licked his sleeve to get the iron taste off his tongue and checked his surroundings. To his horror, six of his men lay dead around him! Their blood seeped into the sand everywhere. Each had several blaster burns. Plox choked and spat. Suddenly he heard a thud behind him. The Gamorrean turned and saw a blaster laying at his feet.

“Mayor Gunbear offers you the heavy blaster,” BN6 stated. “He wants you to have a chance.”

“Mrahhmf,” Mayor Gunbear said.

“I…I don’t want to pick it up,” Plox stammered, shuffling a step back from the blaster. “My apologies. Please!”

“Mrahhmmmmf,” Mayor Gunbear repeated in a quieter but somehow more deadly tone. On his large, furry head sat a wide-brimmed black hat in the style made famous by the bounty hunger, Cad Bane. They were all the rage at Tosche Station this season. His paw hovered a mere inch from the grip of his heavy blaster. The handle was made from the sacred Wroshyr Tree of Kashyyyk.

Plox panicked. He dove for the weapon but before he got half way to it, Mayor Gunbear’s blaster was in hand. He fired several times into the Gamorrean’s fat body and a seventh corpse collapsed on the dune.

“MRAGRHRMF!” Gunbear roared. He took off his hat and threw it in the back of the speeder.

“Yes sir, it is hot,” BN6 replied.

Mayor Gunbear crawled into the driver’s seat. He had a meeting with a representative of the banking clan after lunch, a city council meeting to attend and on top of all that now he had to find a new sanitation crew for district 24. He shook his head.

“Sir, what shall I do with the bodies?” BN6 called out.

“Grapmvh grarahhgar!” Mayor Gunbear said and hit the accelerator.

“Dump them in the Sarlaac Pit? An excellent idea!”

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