{"id":1368,"date":"2013-08-20T13:50:56","date_gmt":"2013-08-20T18:50:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/?p=1368"},"modified":"2017-02-08T22:06:57","modified_gmt":"2017-02-09T04:06:57","slug":"dinner-interrupted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/2013\/08\/dinner-interrupted\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gunbear Chronicles: Dinner Interrupted"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

*snap*<\/p>\n

*crackle*<\/p>\n

*pop*<\/p>\n

He stirred his bowl of Honey Berry\u00a0Crunch as he watched the evening\u2019s fireworks. He liked the way the colors sparkled across the city. The smell of the gunpowder made him feel strong; reminded him how powerful he was.<\/p>\n

*buzz*<\/p>\n

The intercom spoke.<\/p>\n

<<Mr. Allen from the Transit Authority is here to see you, Mr. Mayor.>><\/p>\n

\u201cGwrraaarrrrr arrg.\u201d He grumbled at it.<\/p>\n

<<Of course, Sir.>><\/p>\n

The Mayor set his bowl down on his desk and picked up his gun. A man in the forests of Jankok\u00a0gave him the gun years before. It was a normal hunting rifle but he was drawn to the sheen and glisten of the barrel. The smell of the gunpowder made him erect.<\/p>\n

As he stumbled upright toward the door, he drug the gun across the floor. It scraped against the tile as he burst out of his office.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrrawwwr grawwrrr\u201d he growled, raising the gun toward Mr. Allen.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease! No!\u201d Mr. Allen shouted as he slid out of the lobby chair and onto his knees. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t my fault!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGWRAGGGLR!\u201d The Mayor roared as he took steady aim.<\/p>\n

\u201cI swear! The budget has been so tight. We can\u2019t afford to increase the bus OR train activity during rush hour. It\u2019s just not possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

A horrible stench of shit wafted up from Mr. Allen and the Mayor shook his head in disgust.<\/p>\n

“It’s a logistical Nigh–”<\/p>\n

\u201cGrraggrr Gwaaaaargr!\u201d The Mayor barked as he pulled the trigger and put four rounds into Mr. Allen\u2019s belly.<\/p>\n

The Mayor leaned down. The dying politician could feel the warm breath of the Mayor as he pressed his nose against forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrrrrawwr\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr. Allen wimpered, \u201cplease.\u201d<\/p>\n

In one swift motion the Mayor bit off the face of the Politian and swallowed it.<\/p>\n

He turned toward his secretary, \u201cGrwwrrrrr?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, Sir. I\u2019ll bring you your salmon, right away.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*snap* *crackle* *pop* He stirred his bowl of Honey Berry\u00a0Crunch as he watched the evening\u2019s fireworks. He liked the way the colors sparkled across the city. The smell of the gunpowder made him feel strong; reminded him how powerful he was. *buzz* The intercom spoke. <<Mr. Allen from the Transit Authority is here to see … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “The Gunbear Chronicles: Dinner Interrupted”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1,148],"tags":[138,24,139,57],"class_list":["post-1368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","category-general","category-mayorgunbear","tag-fireworks","tag-mayor-gunbear","tag-salmon","tag-star-wars"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1iGDa-m4","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1368"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1717,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1368\/revisions\/1717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}