{"id":1373,"date":"2013-09-25T13:50:36","date_gmt":"2013-09-25T18:50:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/?p=1373"},"modified":"2017-02-08T22:05:59","modified_gmt":"2017-02-09T04:05:59","slug":"mgb-explosive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/2013\/09\/mgb-explosive\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gunbear Chronicles: Explosive Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Sir. I didn\u2019t put that on your desk. I don\u2019t know where it would have come from. No one has been here.\u201d Miss Baxter peed a little bit. She was scared.<\/p>\n

The Mayor pawed at the envelope that had appeared on his desk. Something was fishy and it wasn\u2019t just the sushi he had for lunch.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one came in while you were out, I swear. Did you check your windows? Maybe they-\u201c BOOM!<\/p>\n

The envelope exploded. The small explosion knocked the Mayor back against Miss Baxter and slammed her against the wall but shielded her for most of the blast.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrrrraaaammmmrrr!\u201d moaned the Mayor as he pulled himself half-way up off the floor. He hurt. All of the hair on his right arm and chest were singed and blackened. His skin was exposed. The sensation of even the lightest draft of air stung like a hot iron.<\/p>\n

\u201cRrowwwrrnnnn?\u201d he called to Miss Baxter.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m OK. I think I\u2019m OK. My head hurts but I think I\u2019m OK.\u201d<\/p>\n

The room was creaking and settling. There was a new \u201cwindow\u201d in the lobby of the office. Dirt and ash covered everything. Just over the smells of gunpowder and Miss Baxter\u2019s urine the Mayor could sense something foreign, something in the hall.<\/p>\n

The Mayor burst through the door and into the hallway just in time to see a figure scuttle into the elevator. He bound toward the stairwell on all fours, though favoring his wounded arm.<\/p>\n

1, 2, 9 flights of stairs he leapt down, slamming into the walls at each turn. His eyes were bloodshot. With each floor he became more furious, more ravenous.<\/p>\n

The elevator slid open in the lobby of the government building. The figure peeked out, thin and green, a Rodian assassin. No one saw him because, as the Rodian stuck his head out, the Mayor crashed through the stairwell door, leapt over the lounge area, and pounced into elevator.<\/p>\n

He raised his powerful paw and swatted the would-be assassin across the shoulder, knocking him down and tearing away green flesh. Serrating the muscle tissue that remained. From within his coat, the Mayor pulled out an overclocked blaster. It was something he had been tinkering with and he was more than pleased to try it out.<\/p>\n

\u201cGrrwwwarrrrrgggrrraaaahh?!\u201d the Mayor roared. \u201cGrrwwwarrrrrgggrrraaaahh?!!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNO! I won\u2019t tell you who. But hear this. Hear this before you tear me apart, you monster!\u201d<\/p>\n

The Mayor had carved claws into the tip of the blaster so blood began to drip down the face of the Rodian as he pressed the tip against his forehead.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis city will burn, Mayor. You say you\u2019re changing this place for the better. You say you\u2019re going to upgrade the public works and streamline the transit system. But no one wants it!\u201d<\/p>\n

The Mayor twisted the blaster, carving a blood-spewing circle into the Rodian\u2019s head.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis city is a hive of scum and villainy and it\u2019s better off that way. It\u2019s better off being worse. This city will burn, Mayor\u2026and you will burn with it.\u201d BANG!<\/p>\n

The Rodian slumped over and the Mayor lapped up the blood from the floor.\u00a0 It tasted metallic but also sweet. Rodian blood was good.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cNo Sir. I didn\u2019t put that on your desk. I don\u2019t know where it would have come from. No one has been here.\u201d Miss Baxter peed a little bit. She was scared. The Mayor pawed at the envelope that had appeared on his desk. Something was fishy and it wasn\u2019t just the sushi he had … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “The Gunbear Chronicles: Explosive Feelings”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1,148],"tags":[142,24,141,57,140],"class_list":["post-1373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","category-general","category-mayorgunbear","tag-city-planning","tag-mayor-gunbear","tag-rodian","tag-star-wars","tag-violence"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1iGDa-m9","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1373"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1716,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373\/revisions\/1716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/youthculturekilledmydog.com\/yckmdwp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}