I think I’m naturally obnoxious. I’ve worked on it over the years so I hope that’s less apparent now-a-days. But as a child, oh Lord! You can imagine how much a child with irresponsibly undiagnosed ADHD might love the idea of April Fools Day. Every year I would try to come up with the best way to “Get” someone. But every year my prank was more than lame.
The problem was that I was a “gifted” child. That label, for many children, meant a higher level of intelligence and the heightened ability to absorb learned information. Unfortunately for me, I was part of the small faction of children where “gifted” actually meant “intelligently retarded.” So my pranks were usually too elaborate or far-fetched for a child with my meager means. In the Fifth grade I finally succeeded in pranking the living daylights out of someone…much to my later dismay.
That someone was Jennifer. She was the girl I had had a crush on since the Third grade. I adored her. About a week before April 1st I noticed she was wearing a Mighty Ducks jersey so I asked her if she would like to go to a game with me and my family the following week. She said she would love to and would ask her parents if it was alright. Trap Set!
Now, I WAS going to a game with my family but I didn’t have an extra ticket. What was I thinking?! I suppose it’s similar to how a young boy might punch a girl or pull her hair because he likes her except this doesn’t end with a black eye, just emotional scarring and an eternal distrust of the opposite sex.
So I played it cool for a week. April Fools day passed and soon came the day of the game. She asked me about the plans for the evening and I immediately blurted out “April Fools! Hahahahah!” I pointed. She cried and ran away. I felt horrible. Way to go, Dumbass. It wasn’t even April 1st anymore!
Why would I think it would be funny to play a joke like that on an innocent girl that I thought the world of? I later found out from her friend, who bitched me out severely, that Jennifer had actually liked me back and that was really the reason she was so excited to go to the game. I had broken her heart as well as my own. Double Whammy! There was no going back from that. I don’t recall her speaking to me much after that and we went to school together for Two more years.
That situation was a milestone for me. I realized how irresponsibly I had acted without concern for the other person. From that day forward I tried to be more thoughtful with my interaction with others. I was still obnoxious, I know this, but I tried to keep my actions victimless.
I suck at April Foolsing.