FUJcast 10 :: J’s House

Google street view captures the crime scene. (Click)

Oh boy.

In our quest to learn more about our friend J, we at FUJcast have a tendency to push the envelope. We wanted to check out J’s home, so we enlisted the help of Chris Hutson, a guy who has known J since the early 1890’s.

We hopped a train to Aurora and met up with Chris so he could give us a tour. But as you’ll soon find out, things were not what they initially seemed, and the evening did not go exactly as planned. Listen and find out what happened at J’s house on this exciting “on the road” edition of FUJcast.


FUJcast 09 :: The Dimension Zero Controversy

It’s a special episode of FUJcast, one that took us a little longer to put together than usual. This episode is all about the history of J and Paul’s heavy metal band, Dimension Zero, and the controversial decision Paul made back in 1998 that has had long lasting effects. Shit is about to get real, so brace yourselves.

Since this episode is also a little longer (let’s call it our FUJcast double album), we’ve got some visual aides for your eyeballs. We also posted four songs from Dimension Zero’s only album, The Millennium Core, for your listening enjoyment.

So take a trip back with us to the 90’s and relive the genesis of how we, and therefore you, came to know one Jason I. Huls.


Tape cover for The Millennium Core


J in his bathroom, circa 1998.

Chicago Summah Non-Poem – Beauties

The Chicago beauties are out.
It’s sunny and they are waltzing down Lincoln.
Flowing dresses and short shorts.
The breeze, smelling of hot dogs and asphault,
Blows through their hair like fingers of Zeus.
My creepy eyes oogle as I pass by a slice of pizza
Smashed on the sidewalk missing only a single bite.
Trampled by a million footsteps.
This is not a poem.

I’m Not Afraid to Die

We’re all adults here. We know that when you die, it’s just lights out. A switch is flipped and then…nothing. Because of this, I’m not scared to die.

Some people are scared to die because they are afraid of how they will die. No one wants a painful death and I am with that mindset. But if you live your life with that bearing over you, your life certainly can’t reach it’s full potential.

This is what many are afraid of. They fear they will not have lived their lives to the fullest. They are worried they will miss out on important experiences if they die too soon. But that doesn’t bother me. Sure, I might not have experienced the thrill of sky diving or walked atop the majestic Himalayas, but I won’t know! It’s lights out, remember? NOTHING. There is no feeling of remorse after death. There is just…more being dead.

What I am worried about, if I die before I get old, is being thought of as an asshole postmortem. I try my darnedest to be a nice guy while I’m alive but I don’t want to be the dick who leaves all his friends and loved ones with a bunch of shit to deal with. I’m not just talking about debts, funeral costs and whatnot. I’m talking about the more important, personal stuff.

“Mike and I were planning a party for next weekend. Now what am I supposed to do? That asshole had the keg reservation!”

I don’t want people saying that!

“I can’t believe he died two days before he was supposed to help me move. Dick move!”

Who is going to do my job if I die? Who is going to take care of my cat? Who is going to do the dishes? My roommates will be eating off filthy, disease-riddled dishes if I die. These are my concerns. I don’t want people to think of me as a dick who died just to get out of a few favors.

Perhaps, in an ever-amending will, I can delegate tasks and responsibilities to people. That way everyone can see that I was thinking of all my obligations along with all the things that have become expected of me.

  • To Paul, I bequeath my cat. You two are great friends and I know you will lead adorable lives together.
  • To Ben, I bequeath my fish. I hope they bring a comfort and serenity as the Wolf guides your walk through life.
  • To my Brother and his wonderful wife, I bequeath the purchase of Christmas presents for the family on my behalf. I don’t want anyone to be a gift short, come my passing.
  • To Jonny, I bequeath my desire to buy rounds of drinks at the bar. We drink together, a lot. So I’m gonna need you to pick up the slack now that I’m gone. People need gracious drinks.


Maybe that will cover my dead ass. Thankfully, I won’t have the privilege of knowing, because I will be busy with, well…nothing.

The History of “Qhat”









Following the lead of one Jason Huls and his recent article detailing the history of our old band, I’ve decided to jump on the nostalgia bandwagon to chat about a different chapter of our collective past- a little comic strip known as Qhat.

What? Qhat? Exactly. One day about nine years ago, while trying to type the word “what”, I accidentally created the word “qhat”. My roommate and I took a liking to this new expression, so I turned it into a weekly comic strip with the magical help of Microsoft Paint.

Qhat followed the wacky adventures of my friends and I, who were all low-level Starfleet officers serving aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise. Captain Picard’s NCC-1701-D to be specific. It was kind of like a real crappy combination of Star Trek and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Perhaps The History of “Qhat” isn’t the best title for this article, since I really don’t remember why the hell I started making Qhat, what I planned on doing with Qhat, or why I even called it Qhat. No matter. I’ve hand picked some of my favorite episodes for your (possible) enjoyment. There’s probably some inside jokes, a good deal of crude humor, and a plethora of stupidity. That’s just how we roll in the 24th century.

Episode 15: Me and Jason Huls visit Doctor Rob Quinton, who is less than cooperative.

Episode 30: Jason tries out his new stand-up routine for patrons of the Holodeck.

Episode 37: The Quinton Brothers- Rob and Will- investigate Gale Murrin’s awesome “party”.